Hi my name is actually not Tyler, but you can call me that. I am 17 and I am a senior in high school. I live in Texas. I go to church every Sunday and I altar serve. I also will soon start teaching CCD classes for 4th graders. I am gay or queer, but I’ll stick with gay to make it simple. I love god. I really do. Most days I’ll just be doing anything and all of a sudden I see or experience something so beautiful or amazing that I can’t keep myself from wondering in awe of God.
The only problem is that I am lonely, and I have a yearning for a connection with another person. I have my connection with God which tbh could be stronger, but I’m working on it, and it makes me hopeful and happy. However the struggle comes from most gay guys I’ve met not being followers of God, not being out of the closet, or not being serious. It seems at my age the only other 6 gay guys that are out of the closet are not compatible with me and or only want sex.
I have had sexual encounters with other guys before and they made me feel dirty. However my attraction to men doesn’t make me feel dirty and I’ve had boyfriends in the past that I didn’t feel dirty with when we hugged, cuddled, or kissed. Those relationships ended due to forces either of our control.
I think I know what a good relationship is supposed to feel like and I’m excited to live a catholic life with a husband and maybe kids.
I’m just so uncertain on how catholic my life can be since our church doesn’t support gay marriage.
I love God and love or at least try to love everyone around me. I only hope that everyone begin to love more.