Temptations

Hello! I’m Jeff (not actually). I am a senior in high school, 18 years old. I come from a very devout Catholic family and have 7 siblings.

I realized I was gay when I started to masturbate to gay porn. (About 6-7 years ago). I didn’t have friends, I was alone. I hated myself. I didn’t know why I got up every day, for years. I knew that watching gay porn was wrong, but I continued to do it. Once I couldn’t get enough, about a year ago, I had a few sexual relations with some guys. One in particular. I continued to lie to myself saying that God was ok with what I was doing. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have made me this way. That ended pretty badly and I fell harder than I ever did before; I still didn’t have friends; I was still alone.

Now, I have gone to confession and no longer lie to myself. I know and believe in what the Church truly teaches on the subject of being gay. To marry another man is contrary to its beliefs. We are all called to a life of chastity, and yes it is harder for us. But we can do it!

I have made a good friend and it has helped me a great deal this past few months. I’m praying for you all and want to thank you for all your posts; it’s nice to know there are others out there like me. God bless!

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7 Responses to Temptations

  1. Jeff Schueler says:

    My name is Jeff (actually) and I am a gay Catholic. That is to say; I was born and raised Catholic. God created me this way, and as in all human beings, he put in us a desire for sex, love, intimacy and marriage. For you to deny all of those things just to be in the “club” of the Catholic Church will condemn you to a life of denying yourself the love that you are capable of giving to others. I wish the Church was open and accepting of gay people, but alas, it is not. Good luck with your choices, and always remember, God loves you exactly how He created you, not how man expects you to be.

    • Jeff says:

      Thanks for responding, Jeff! I’m responding just to clear some things up. When I see a gay couple, I feel a desire what they have. However, I know that this is a lie and it can never work out. The reason I’m in the “club” of the Catholic Church is because I understand why it teaches what it teaches. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Sex is beautiful when acted appropriately; a married couple offering themselves up to one another to create another human life. Gay men cannot do this. This is why they should not get married, as this is the purpose of marriage; to bring forth new life, raising it under the light of God.
      God has given each of us the capability to love greatly, regardless of our personal present stanse on sexuality. We can do this as anyone can, through our acts of kindness, through prayer, through bringing people to the light, etc.
      Though I’m going through much difficulty, I am happy. And I pray that I’ll live every day doing God’s will, aside from my own. God bless you, Jeff. Thank you.

      • A says:

        For the love of God! Being gay is not a sin! Being gay is not “against” the church! The church has always had traditionalists running condemning gays! There is NOTHING wrong with it! It is a genetic, a part of your DNA. Just because a group of people say this or that does not mean it is true. I am Catholic, I am not attacking the church – I am telling truth. Now put my words to action and stop self-condemning!

        • Jeff says:

          Hello! Jeff (not really) again. I just wanted you to know that I never said being gay is a sin. Having gay desires and acting out on them are two different things. Having gay sex IS a mortal sin. It is one of the sins that cries out to heaven. What I have said IS the Catholic Church’s teaching, regardless of whether or not you like it. It’s a heavy cross to carry, but everyone has a heavy cross. Take a look at the catechism brothers. Id love to have a theological discussion with you do we could understand each other better. God bless you.

          • Jeff says:

            A
            One more thing, I apologize but I forgot to address it. It is NOT part of your DNA. Scientists have not yet discovered anything relating to a “gay gene” at all yet.

  2. Rudy says:

    WOW! I replied recently to another post and I’m seeing here that many are succumbing to the thought that we are sinners if we allow ourselves to give into our natural human desires to express love or affection through sexual acts. Obsession with sex whether straight or gay is an imbalance and can you imagine if we were all procreating on this earth, just how crowded this planet would be?? The biggest sin is to go along and live a lie by getting married to the opposite sex”hoping it will go away”only to destroy someone else’s life if and when you finally come out! The Catholic faith offers me comfort through it’s sweet prayers to our Lord and Blessed Mother and the saints and I refuse to let certain doctrines written by man, dictate to me that I am not worthy to receive communion or to make me feel any less as a human being that GOD created! To quote an old saying,”GOD doesn’t make junk” this might not be allowed to be posted and I’m sorry if I have shaken anyone up a bit.

    • Jeff says:

      Hello! I would just like to clear things up a little bit bro. I did not create these teachings. I mentioned this in a previous response, take a look at the catechism and see for yourself that what you say here is not going hand in hand with the Church’s teachings. You will also see that the “biggest sin” is not what you said above (though if someone did that, it would be gravely sinful). Also, I did not say that I was going to go marry a girl even though I have homosexual desires. I was recognizing that this may be a phase I could get out of, though this has happened for a while. These are not my personal beliefs, if you wish, I could give you the section numbers to look at in the catechism. God bless!

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