I Need Help.


I grew up in a very active and devout Catholic family in New Orleans, Louisiana. I really do love the church. I love being Catholic but the only problem is I’m gay. I cry while I pray asking the Lord what can I do. It feels like every time I go to church there are thousands that don’t want me there. I just feel like I’m not accepted at all in the place where I want to be.

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7 Responses to I Need Help.

  1. Laura says:

    Please, you must know that no real catholic hates anybofy in the first place. Also, we are all a family, tha catholic family, and God loves you as much as He loves me or anybody else, no matter what or how you are. One thing is to think that homosexual behaviour (i mean by this, to have same-sex sexual contact) is not right, and other very very different thing is to hate gay people or to think they are not allowed to be inthe church. Pray very much ao God helps you, I will pray for you too. Be happy, do good to everybody and love everyone, forgive those who hate, and those who think that are better than others.

    (Im sorry for my bad english, i’m from Spain(Europe))
    Best regards, and lots of love

    • Natalia says:

      Talvez me podrias ayudar a mi. Yo soy gay y no hay ser que yo mas adore que a Dios. A veces me pongo brava por mi condicion y suelo rezarle a Dios para que me ayude. No se que pueda hacer en este momento, no lo puedo controlar. Yo siento que estoy pecando cada ves que pienso y que voy a ser rechazada por toda la comunidad catolica. He parado de comulgar por esta misma razon, siento que no lo meresco. Pero, por otro lado se que Dios me hiso asi por alguna razon.

    • Frank says:

      Your advice makes no demands of you, yet you demand that he live and die alone and cheerfully accept it. That is evil and hateful.

  2. Marie says:

    Dear AJ,

    The first thing you need to know is that I am Catholic and I accept you. If you’re gay, that is just the way it is for you. It is not something to be ashamed of, just accepted. Being homosexual is not a sin.

    I’m going to be making a wild guess here, but it sounds like you feel isolated because of your homosexuality. You are not the first gay Catholic, and you won’t be the last. I’m reluctant to offer any advice on what to do since I do not have any experience in this area, but you might need help facing this. If there is someone at your church or in your family you can trust, start by asking them.

    There are also some online resources you can turn to:
    http://couragerc.net/, a site for homosexual Catholics.
    http://www.chastity.com, if you look at the bottom of the page, there is a link to online resources that has topics to do with homosexuality
    http://www.catholic.com/, you can do a search on homosexuality and find things about gay marriage an other topics
    http://www.catholic.com/video/what-does-the-catholic-church-teach-about-homosexuality, is a video that talks about homosexuality and church teachings

    As you can see by the resources available, you are not alone, neither are you condemned. You can be gay and be Catholic.

    I’m not saying that your path will be easy. Loving God is never an easy task, even for a straight Catholic. But you are part of something bigger than yourself. The sacraments will strengthen you and I know that God will never abandon you.

    I don’t know how people react to your homosexuality, neither do I know how they will react. For me, being gay does not detract from how much I love or admire someone. I have a teacher at my school who is openly gay and in a relationship with their partner. At first, I was a bit shocked when I found out. However, the encounter with that teacher made me evaluate what I thought of gay people. I will admit it did feel a bit weird to have a gay teacher, mostly because I’ve never been exposed to gay people much before. I’ve met three or four that I can remember. One was not very nice and their attitude left a sour taste in my mouth about gay people. But as I got to know my teacher, I realized that it did not really matter that much to me at all. That teacher and I are now actually on great terms as teacher and student. I admire them very much, more than any other teacher at that school. Being gay did not make her any less amazing or awesome to learn from.

    Some people may have an easier time accepting your sexuality than others. But it is part of who you are. I’ve never met you and I probably never will, but I know that we are both children of God. My heart longs for your happiness within our family. I love you for who you are. It may sound silly, but I can say that my sincere wishes are for you to find acceptance and love. If nothing else, know that I will keep you in my prayers, most likely for the rest of my life. So no matter what happens, know that someone cares.

    May you find the answers you need,


  3. Mike says:

    Good morning AJ,

    I’d says, the best thing you can do, is to talk with Joe or me, I know we’re not in Louisiana, but we have good ideas on how to cope with being Catholics and gays at the same time.

    If you feel that your family and/or Church doesn’t understand you, it is a clear sign from God, that you must seek answers (signs of life) from people with a good heart, because
    Jesus wants us happy, and most of all, being accepted mean that people care about us and treat us as a brother, but too often, it seems, we’re ignored or treated as if we’re not worthy of anyone’s friendships, and that is wrong, that’s why I said to look for signs of life. It’s how God talk to us (through signs of life)


  4. Jessup says:

    Just know that we, your fellow lovers of Jesus, love you, support you, pray for you and know that Jesus has a special love for anyone that suffers for his sake. You are suffering because you know that you love Jesus and his Church more than sexual gratification and that, sir, is so beautiful! Because you suffer for the sake of Jesus, you are especially loved by Jesus. Like everyone that hears your suffering, I will pray for you. We support you, we love you and we are united with you in God’s love. It’s a race. Don’t give it up! You will win!

  5. R Wilson says:

    I am gay and Catholic….. God provides us with a conscience so we know the difference between right and wrong. But when guilt is excessive, painful, and makes one lose all hope….this is not from God.

    Find a PFLAG in New orleans and get some scientific data on what causes homosexuality…..study this….then look at church teaching. I think you will feel better about being gay when you can compare scientific knowledge with church doctrine. As a gay person you bring unique gifts to the church…

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