Help for a Catholic, Gay but closeted friend

By Frankie

Look, first things, first I personally am not catholic but my friend strictly is. She’s also gay, and while drunk at a party she confided in me that she was, in fact, gay despite the fact she has only appeared homophobic in the past. In fact, she hates the idea of being gay and finds herself disgusting because of it. She hasn’t told anyone else (and probably doesn’t remember telling me either) but it’s all too clear to see that the self-hatred over this is affecting her really badly. She won’t accept that being gay is ok, doesn’t believe others will either, and in fact, after she told me, went to go try pull a guy, probably because subconsciously she wanted to suppress herself ‘being gay’.

As I said, I’m not catholic but I do know the gist of being gay and catholic comes with a lot of conflicts. I personally don’t believe that she can be ‘changed’ to be heterosexual and that it would be much better for her to accept herself, but obviously this would go against much of what she believes and a lot of the community around her. I’m sure some of you will disagree with me, and I accept that, but I want to help her, because otherwise she’s just going to make herself ill.

So, basically, I’m here for some advice. Firstly, do I start a conversation with her? Secondly, if people have been in her sort of situation before, have you been able to accept yourself, and on what grounds? Also, is there any aid that I could point her to on religious terms that might help her? I literally just want to help her, so any advice would be much appreciated, even if it’s further understanding as to the catholic views on the issue.

Thank you for your time

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