Posted by: Jane
I’ve never done this before, and I’m not sure how my family would react to me doing this. I come from a very large and very devout Catholic family, and I identify as being a lesbian. I’m 22 and about to graduate college, and I have a loving girlfriend. To be honest, tonight was the first time I have been to Mass in months, and it’s been over four years since I’ve been to confession. I am afraid to go, and tonight I knew I couldn’t receive the Eucharist and so I sat back as my family went up, and I almost collapsed into tears. I am home for Thanksgiving, and I know as soon as I go back to school, I probably won’t go to church.
I cannot bring myself to believe that God would make us this way–to love another human being, regardless if they are of the same sex, and then ask us to lock that part of us away. If we are made in His image- are we not reflective of His endless love? My girlfriend, “Sally” is Methodist, and she just doesn’t get it. I feel like I am being pulled in two- my faith or the woman I love. Although I have not talked about my relationship with my family, they know. My parents would never disown me (praise God) but I hate this awkward tension, and I am utterly afraid I will be forced to choose between my family and faith, and the love I bear for this woman. She has stood by me for the last four years, and I feel just as passionate for her and I do for the Lord during adoration. I find comfort in her arms as I do in the stillness of a church on Christmas morning.
I believe in everything the Apostle’s Creed says, but I cannot fathom why we are made to live half a life. If I have offended anyone in this post, please reach out to me. I do not mean to hurt anyone with what I have said. These are just thoughts as to how I have been feeling.