Confused and Scared, yet Happy and Joyful

By Miss.Anonymous

Hellooo! You can call me Clarie. I am actually a teenager and am going through lots of phases.. however, I knew when I had my first phase of “homosexuality” it struck me very hard. I was in the 4th grade and all of the sudden I just started liking girls. I told my friends if it was wrong to think a women was hot and they said “EWWW why would you even think that?” after that had happened I just told them I was kidding and went on with my regular life. The phase had gone away (it took a couple of months) and now I was just as happy as ever! Then in the 6th grade the same phase had occurred to me again.. no biggie it passed a couple months later. HOWEVER, 7th grade was the most life changing experience I could have ever had. I was at a meeting hosted by our a school to introduce new teachers and whatnot when I saw a boy who looked about my age with what appeared to be his little sister. He was so cute and seemed very nice. After that day I would occasionally see him volunteering at my school from time to time (he doesn’t attend it but his cousins do) and now back to where the “shocker” happens. I was at the after party for our school’s spring concert and I saw my friend talking to the boy I have liked for 8 months and I approach her, seeing this as an opportunity to maybe get the chance to talk with him. I was very shy and kind of flat out ignored him which made me seem quite the “lady” but anywho he was still very kind and did talk to me a little. He had left to go get some cookies with his cousin, which let me alone with my friend (goes to school with him) and I asked her “At first I was confused on whether he was a boy or girl hahaha” … she proceeded to tell me he was transgender. Nevertheless, I was shocked and sad. As a Catholic, I fear God because the capability of him sending me to Hell for loving someone of the same gender is just horrifying! I plan to stay in the closet and also I hope to pursue a relationship with “it”. I love him so much and I can’t think of a reason why God would NOT want me to be happy.

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2 Responses to Confused and Scared, yet Happy and Joyful

  1. Robert says:

    Hello Clarie,

    It is difficult no doubt when faced with the thought, ‘how can I be me and still not offend God?’ God is love, God loves us, I can say things will work out in the end and others may say things won’t work out in the end; but ultimately it is between you and God, no one other has a say or knows what is in your/our heart. I find myself in a relationship with a effeminate male, he is transgender, has gender disphoria; meaning he is a biological male but identifies as a female. As it is right now he refers to himself as my boyfriend until he feels he has taken the necessary steps to become a woman and a girlfriend. Where do I stand on this? I love him, whatever he so chooses to be, is what he’ll be and I’ll be right there to support him on his journey. Love is life.

  2. R Wilson says:

    I say that God loves you “as you are” and you need not worry so much what others think you should or should not be. We are all unique. Also, being a young person is hard given for LGBT youth, there is so much negativity hurled at them, even violence. Trust God and know he will always allow you to be you.

    If you like the person…..strike up a freindship – maybe it will develop into something more, or it will remain friendship.

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