Afraid and Needing Guidance

Written by: Helen

I don’t know where I am right now, with my sexuality; with my faith. I am a Freshman at an Ohio college and recently did a play where my “husband” was played by a woman. I have been attracted to other girls in the past, but I’ve always pushed them down because I know what I’ve been taught in mass every Sunday. It wasn’t hard back then, I could convince myself it was just a phase that I didn’t really like them, but being in this play was different.

I had to spend so much time with this girl and in one scene, I even had to kiss her. I didn’t want to and I still don’t want to, but I fell in love with her. I’ve been struggling for the last three weeks trying to shake these feelings because based on what I’ve been taught they are wrong. I’m just starting to wonder why I would have these thoughts if they were wrong. Does God never want me to be with someone I really love? I want to be a good, loving Catholic, but I don’t want to cry anymore.

I think the worst part is I can’t talk to my family about it, because they will disown me in order to try and teach me the right way. Please pray for me, and email me if you have anything to add. I’m just lost right now, and if I offended anyone by the story I am sorry.

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One Response to Afraid and Needing Guidance

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